A Tapestry of Caring, Where Compassion Meets Community
By Rosemary Addison

The unbearable days and nights take their toll, worry, frustration, isolation, draining to the depths of one’s soul.

This is the life of more than 4 million people in Ontario today who care for a family member, partner, or friend. A 2021 survey from Caregivers Summit revealed that 87% of caregivers experience loneliness, 75% experience anxiety, 69% experience deterioration in their mental health.

It was out of recognition of this need to support caregivers, that the Caregiver Support Group was created at McNally House Hospice. Facilitated by Arthur Loik, Psycho-Spiritual Clinician at McNally House, the Group meets online every other Thursday. 

People share their journey of caregiving in confidentiality and trust. Often, participants have said that this is what gets them through the difficult times. Brenda, a current participant, comments, “Caring for a loved one is time-consuming, exhausting, and, isolating.  Hearing each other’s stories helps us to know that our fears and frustrations are normal. We are not alone.”

Another group member echoes, “I don’t expect to hear solutions, but at least I’m heard. Someone cares enough to listen. For one hour, at least, I can talk about my needs.”

This supportive atmosphere of listening, trust, affirmation, is highlighted by Katharine. She was better able to talk with her sons about their ailing father, her husband of 67 years. “Fear of what was ahead was hard to share.” Group members honoured her feelings of fear, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness. The genuine care and warmth that she experienced helped her to keep going.

“The meetings have been a great way to share and listen to the experiences of other caregivers. I have learned a lot, which definitely has made my caregiver job less intimidating,” shares John.

These heartfelt comments shape the essence of how sharing with others in similar circumstances can provide a glimmer of being able to carry on in the journey of caregiving. This is life-giving when one feels that all hope is lost, that “normal” will never be “normal” again.

For caregivers, self-care can be thought of as being a selfish act, often making caregivers feel guilty. The group has learned that, you must take care of yourself in order to care for the ones you love.

Sometimes, within the context of the time together, there is guided meditation, and other times, simple art therapy with Shara McLaren, Art Therapist at McNally House. Occasionally, the group experiences “pet therapy” when the dog of one of the participants inadvertently makes an appearance on the screen!

The conversations weave ideas and encouragement, in a rich tapestry of caring. Participants validate one another, “hold space for one another”. This space is sacred, a space in which hearts come together, broken and frightened, to be nurtured and supported, a virtual touch that provides hope for someone in whose life hope is often illusive.

All caregivers are welcome to be part of this tapestry, where compassion meets community.

Come and be nurtured and supported by the caring and love that is fostered by McNally House Hospice.

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